Anime Wisdom from Kamille Bidan: The dissolution of ego (and anger) is freedom

I remember the first time I watched Zeta Gundam… I didn’t whole heartedly get it. In truth I was not ready for the experience, plus I only had the first half of the show (25 episodes). This would be my first experience watching the original Gundam shows as well, the Yoshiyuki Tomino directed Universal Century timeline. Once I got access to the first Mobile Suit Gundam, finished that properly with glee and joy, I knew it was time to give Zeta another try. I rewatched the first half with more interest and understanding and then moved onto the second half. In a day and a half I binged watched those final 25 episodes and afterwards I was ecstatic, though shaken as well.

Kamille Bidan’s final fight against the tyrannical Scirocco felt like a car crash. I had to take a second to take a breath and realize just what happened. At that time I thought Kamille lost his senses, his memory as well as he definitely was acting odd… did you notice his helmet was damaged too? Perhaps a head injury… maybe he was going crazy from the shock? All valid conclusions… perhaps you have an opinion as well. Yet recently watching those final moments I have come to another conclusion. You may disagree and that is fine as I am not saying this is exact fact, nothing ever is. This is my interpretation of what happened to Kamille during that final battle of the war that began U.C. 0087.

If you remember the beginning of Zeta Gundam, you should recall just how hot headed and angry Kamille’s personality is. Any minor remark would get him really hot under the collar, including declaring his name to be not a ‘boy’s’ name. Amuro got slapped once in original Gundam, but Kamille’s count of getting hands to the face invites a drinking game… take another drink when Kamille gets… oh that’s another one. Funnily, I don’t touch or like being around alcohol, but it fits sitation. Some say he is autistic, but I see him as an extremely angry individual with too much hatred and insecurity stored up within him with no real way to release besides constantly throwing a fit. Behold the power of unleashing repressed emotions like frustration.

As the series progresses we see Kamille begin to calm down a bit and begin to gain respect from his peers… cooling the yang fire with yin water. Part of this is his meeting with several women during the series. Some act as surrogate sisters like Emma Sheen and Reccoa Londe, some are long time allies and partners like Fa Yuiry, while others are romantic flings or infatuations: Four Murasume and Rosamia Badam. While the masculine figureheads of Quattro Bajenna (Char Aznable by any other name), Amuro Ray, Bright Noa and Captain Henken did leave their influence as well, it would be the women in his life, as well as young Katz who looked up to Kamille like a brother, that would be with him during Kamille’s final showdown with Scirocco albeit in a spiritual way. Typical of Tomino’s shows there are heavy casualties and a lot of lives lost. Many of these lives were valued friends and loved ones close to Kamille, including every female cast member mentioned above, sans Fa. Much like separate aspects of the Hellenic goddess Athena, all these women would guide our hero when he needed strength the most during the climatic final episode.

With provided spiritual support from the other side, Kamille would enact the final blow of the series to Scirocco declaring, “You are not needed in this world!” The great evil would perish, but as always a price would have to be paid. Kamille’s sacrificial blow to Scirocco would cost much… his sanity, right?… no. I prefer to see it as a  death of his ego. The full release of all his anger that tied up his identity. He would take it all, the pain, the insecurities, the frustration and give this to Scirocco as this is what he was filled with. In it’s place would be a blank slate, like a baby, carefree and innocent, happy. Kamille to some of you may have lost his mind, but in the end I see him regaining his truest essence, a sense of love and wonder. When conditioning is stripped away, the ego melted and destroyed, this is all we have left, our truest self that can’t be labeled or defined.

… of course Zeta Gundam takes this to the extreme, but in a good meditation session one moment of being in a state of presence is beyond priceless.